badwomaninside.tumblr.com

badwomaninside.tumblr.com

One thing I have been hearing about over and over lately is couples who rush through the period of time between getting excited about trying out pegging, and the first time the actually do it.

There is so much to learn and so much to enjoy during that space of time! Not only will you really miss out if you rush through it, your initial experience with pegging might be more awkward and difficult as a result. So many ‘firsts’ happen, too! You don’t want to miss a one.

I’m big on anticipation. If I could give lovers a timeline to follow from when they share that first exciting moment of embracing the concept of pegging, feeling all that eagerness to explore, to the actual moment of insertion, it would look something like this…

  • For the next 5 or more times you have sex, explore his ass as a part of your foreplay. If you want to try rimming for foreplay, but aren’t sure about sticking your tongue in his ass, try a dental dam – they are sheer and ultra-thin – he won’t be able to tell the difference. Use fingers and plenty of lube. Gloves are optional. Take it really slow, make it a sensual experience. Stay in communication and have fun. Giggle and laugh if you feel like it. Sometimes exploring new territory is funny and it’s okay to feel nervous or self-conscious. Go so slow that he is arching his ass back to meet her fingers.
  • Around the 3rd or fourth time, once he can easily take a couple of fingers, use the beginner dildo that you bought for pegging. She can hold it in her hand and discover what angle, depth, and speed sends him to the moon. This is what she will be trying to duplicate when she straps it on.
  • Spend one evening staying in. She wears the harness while you both cook/eat dinner, watch TV, or clean the kitchen. This gets her used to putting it on and how it feels to have a cock! It also teases the fuck out of him to watch her walk around with it. Heh heh.
  • Finally – this is the night. He cleans out. He has no fear whether he can take the toy or not – he’s already had it inside him. She knows what she is aiming for after playing with the toy and her fingers. She’s used to wearing the harness and cock and knows how to put it on. The blanket is on the bed, because you’ve done this before. The lube is handy, along with a towel, and you are ready to begin pegging…

Enjoy.

  • Write and tell me how it went and I will play the music for you on my next podcast!

 

 

This is a wonderful position for women who have shorter legs from the knee to the hip. It allows for easier penetration with his leg up as well as a relaxed position that doesn’t required any straining of endurance to hold. Eye contact and cock accessibility are both good, too! Give it a try and let me know how you like it….

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Okay Ladies…

Let’s explore what makes you orgasm while pegging. Inquiring minds want to know, including your partners, beginners, other women who peg, and their partners!

Engaging in pegging gets me so hot that I’m dripping, but I am typically more about the orgasm that I give my partner than about me getting off. That’s the way I am built sexually. I love to give pleasure. We are all special snowflakes when it comes to our sexuality. Some women (like me) focus on giving pleasure. Others enjoy pegging men for their own pleasure, not caring about his. Some women are adept at the multi-tasking that men usually perform during PIV, and they can get themselves and their partner off. Some women come easily while pegging. Others never will. All of this depends on responsiveness of the participants, toys, technique, positions, and many other things.

Responsiveness plays a huge role in women’s orgasms during pegging, almost equal to the mental factor! Some women can get off just from the pressure of the base of the dildo against their clitoris. Of course this requires a good fitting harness that will securely hold the dildo low enough to cover the vulva and stimulate the clit. Some women get off easily because the thought of what they are doing is just so fucking hot. Some women need a Magic Wand level of clitoral stimulation to get off, and struggle to orgasm while pegging. So what are some of the factors that provide her pleasure?

Dildo Options for Her Pleasure

Doubles

Every woman’s vagina is different! The various sizes and shapes of bulbs (the end that goes in her) will vary in comfort for each woman. There is no one size fits all. Here’s an article that compares doubles.

Double ended dildos can offer excellent G-spot stimulation. Although there is not a lot of in and out thrusting motion from the bulb end that fits inside her, there is definitely some movement as well as excellent pressure when fucking him. When that pressure hits the G-Spot just right, it feels amazing! For women who orgasm more easily from clitoral stimulation (or a combination of both clitoral and G-Spot) the best double with a vibe option is the Fuze Tango, with the We-Vibe Tango Mini Vibe. Rumbly and not buzzy, this mini vibe is the strongest, rechargeable, and waterproof. It has 8 different vibe choices (three speeds and 5 patterns). Though it doesn’t insert flush into the vibe pocket space, it will never get in the way, and makes it easier to remove for cleaning.

Keep in mind that Doubles require harnesses for 95%+ women who use them, despite the ‘strapless’ claim of many manufacturers. Read more about that here: The Truth About Strapless Strap-ons. Also, many women find that using a double to begin with is difficult, because they need to learn how to fuck first. The learning curve can feel pretty steep for beginners. Of course practicing and getting good at it is quite fun!

Single Dildos

The best clitoral vibe option for a single flare-base dildo is also made by Fuze (what can I say, those Canadians have it down). Their entire line of Fuze Singles, the Velvet, Harmony, Alpha and Wilde all have well placed vibe pockets to hold the We-Vibe Tango.

There are many other dildos made with a hole in the base to insert a vibe as well. Women who need medium to strong clitoral stimulation report that the vibration is insufficient with these models, but some women love them. The We-Vibe Tango may not fit in the dildos with a hole in the base, requiring a shorter bullet vibe instead.

When choosing a dildo with the idea of her clitoral stimulation in mind, think about what she enjoys. If she likes to get off with a motion of pressing against him to increase the vibe on her clit, be sure to choose a dildo that isn’t too long so that she can be in to the hilt (when the best vibe pressure can be obtained) and it is not too deep for him. Nothing worse than needing to push hard against him to get off but not being able to do so because the dildo is uncomfortable when it is in that deep.

The dildo vibe option is great for women who like to fuck with enthusiasm, because there is a cushioning layer of silicone between her clit and the hardness of the vibe. Vigorous thrusting is still comfortable!

Harness Options For Her Pleasure

Vibe Pockets

There are a variety of harnesses with pockets to hold bullet vibes. Spare Parts Harnesses (the Joque, Sasha, Bella and Tomboi) all have two pockets for bullet vibes, above and below the O-ring on the back face of the front harness piece. Using the We-Vibe Tango (which I firmly believe is the best mini vibe in the world) will not work because it’s too long. Regular bullet vibes will work, and you can decide which pocket gives you the most stimulation, or consider using both!

The Sportsheets Plus Size Harness has a vertical pocket for the bullet, which works better, allowing the vibe to nestle in between your vaginal lips, in which case the We-Vibe Tango will work great!

Using the vibe pockets with bullets may reduce the amount of vigorous thrusting you can do, because you basically have a hard metal or plastic vibe between you and the base of the dildo. But some women don’t need as much pressure, and are more sensual peggers, so the pockets work great.

Other Harness Options

If you are a woman loves something in her ass, and you have a two strap harness like the Jaguar or the Minx, the Aslan Leather Double Up Cuff allows you to use a nice butt plug, like the Tantus Ryder or the vibrating Je Joue Nuo, which is an amazing toy all by itself (remote and long distance phone app controlled vibrations). You can enjoy the feeling of your ass being filled while you fuck your partner! You could even give him the remote to the Nuo if you wanted to….

The Double Up Cuff can be purchased as an extra for the Jaguar, but already comes with the Minx. It should work with any 2 strap harness that you own, provided you can detach the straps.

Positions

The positions women prefer vary widely, and seem to have a large mental/visual component. One of my favorite positions for my own stimulation is laying down full length on top of my face down partner and slowly thrusting into his ass (even better if he’s got a Liberator Ramp under his ass). I do have a dominant streak, so that plays into my fantasies, like I am holding him down and he has no choice. Other women find that it’s the most exciting laying on their backs while their partner rides them, simply because the visual is so fucking hot. Doggie style can feel like the ultimate power trip and be extra stimulating mentally, too. Or consider this, if you are a woman who literally gets off because he gets off, you will want the position that produces an orgasm for him, which can trigger yours.

Foreplay Before You Start Pegging

Another consideration to help you achieve orgasm during pegging relates to what you do before you start! Engage in extended foreplay, kissing, and nipple stimulation. Have your partner give you oral sex, fingering or intercourse before you start. But he can’t come if he fucks you! He will lose interest in getting pegged…. 🙁

Other ‘before you start’ options include watching porn together, abstinence for a few days prior to pegging, and even edging for a few days before, too. All those can help!

Men Love to Feel a Woman Orgasm from Pegging Them

Many men talk about how hot it feels when a woman lets go and moves for her own pleasure instead of his. Many also say that the hottest thing ever is when a woman comes from pegging them. So this isn’t only about your orgasm, your partner will enjoy you getting off, too. That’s worth working towards. Practicing is such fun!

 

 

When budget constraints prevent you from buying the best equipment, consider buying a quality dildo and using this DIY harness while you save up for a good one. Buy once and buy quality!

Here is a visual aid for using two scarves to make a do-it-yourself harness – by Midori!

Here are her instructions, as well.

Midori’s Scarf Harness Visual Aid

 

Public Service Announcement!

Been looking for the answer to this one for quite some time.

As an aficionado of pegging, sometimes things can get a little messy and when that happens, odors can be retained in the toy. I’m talking about excellent quality dildos (because that’s all I use). I’ve tried many things to remove that odor with little success.

Ran across this article by Scott at SquarePeg Toys.

Voilà! Success. I’d just purchased a bottle of pure acetone at the drug store – labeled “professional maximum strength 100% acetone”. Quite inexpensive. (Not the colored, scented fingernail polish remover.)

I have a Blush Novelties Ergo Mini that had retained an odor. That is a dual density dildo, softer than most. According to Scott’s article – the softer toys are more prone to odor retention. (He explains why – go read it.)

Used the acetone as described (I had the makeup pads on hand already) and it worked like a charm.

Spread the word! (Just credit Scott at SquarePeg Toys.)

 

Gentlemen

First of all…

You are not alone.

Certainly not alone in the sense of enjoying anal stimulation, and not alone in the sense of scared to tell your significant other. It can be a super scary thing, for a lot of reasons.

Telling your partner requires 3 things.

  • Communication
  • Information
  • Patience/Persistence

Communication:
Do you two talk in bed?? Do you talk about sex? Do you tell each other what turns you on and how things feel and what you fantasize about? If you don’t, start right now. If you are not used to it, at first it will be hard to open your mouth and get the words out. Communicating about sex opens doors and brings you much closer together, beside adding a bit of titillation factor to both of your sex lives!
Information:
Does your wife know that prostate massage has been proven to help with a healthy prostate?
Here’s the study
Does she know that the prostate is capable of giving intense levels of pleasure, just like her G-Spot?
Does she know that pegging doesn’t have to be like pegging porn?
Does she know that you enjoying anal stimulation says nothing about your sexual orientation?
I created a podcast just for the women, to address all of their fears and concerns. I recommend you listen to it first, because only you can decide whether it’s right for your partner. Many men have had great success with it!

Patience/Persistence
When you tell her about it, don’t present it all self-conscious like you have leukemia. Tell her you discovered something way cool – that you have another erogenous zone and you want nothing more to explore it with her. Be excited! Give her the information and then be patient for a few days. Ask again, no resentment, no impatience, just eagerness and curiosity whether she looked at the information or listened to the podcast. Be patient, but persistent. And above all, calm.

Of course you have fears! Among them…

  • She will think you are gay
  • She will think pegging will turn you gay
  • She won’t respect you in the morning
  • She will tell her/your friends

The podcast will help a lot with all of these.

Because here’s the thing…
Do you want to live the rest of your life never asking her? If she is down to try it, you could be enjoying pegging right now. And if she isn’t, then you at least asked. So many men wish they had not waited so long to ask their partners. Pegging is a very intimate act, so wouldn’t it be awesome to be doing it with the person you are the closest to in the whole world?

Now, if your partner is sexually inhibited, sexually conservative, sexually close-minded, and you only do it missionary position, no oral or anal, then perhaps it would not be a good idea to blow her out of the water with pegging. Only you can decide!

Good luck!
Ruby

Joyous Pegging

Just about every day, as the awareness of and interest in pegging sweeps around the world, I receive a question from someone full of concerns, questions, fears and most of all, misconceptions. The same themes present over and over again. While these themes can each be explored in depth, here are the short answers….

For Her…

No, he’s NOT GAY

♥ No, he does not want a man to replace you
♥ No, he does not secretly want a cock
♥ No, pegging him will not magically turn him gay
♥ He just wants you to fuck him in the ass
♥ Honest

((If he is bisexual, disregard this one)

No, it doesn’t hurt.

♥ Yes it feels good
♥ As long as you do it right
♥ Really good
♥ Honest

No, you will not look ridiculous wearing a strap-on

♥ He will think you look hot, I guarantee
♥ Are you kidding? He’s been fantasizing about this…
♥ So hot he might come just looking at you
♥ Honest

No, pegging is not like the pegging in porn

♥ No it is not humiliating
♥ No it is not degrading
♥ No he does not have to dress like a woman
♥ No you don’t have to yell at him and hit him
♥ He just wants you to fuck him in the ass
♥ Honest

(Disclaimer – if you are into any of these kinks, disregard this one)

For Him

No, you are NOT GAY

♥ No, wanting to be pegged does not make you gay
♥ No, being pegged will not magically turn you gay
♥ Yes, you still love breasts and pussies
♥ Which means you are not gay
♥ Even though you want her to fuck you in the ass
♥ It’s all okay
♥ Honest

(If you are bisexual – disregard this one)

No, it doesn’t hurt

♥ Yes. it feels good
♥ As long as she does it right
♥ Really good
♥ Honest

No, it will not compromise your masculinity

♥ Yes, she will respect you in the morning
♥ Yes, you can continue being a man’s man
♥ It’s all okay
♥ Honest

No, pegging is not like the pegging in porn

♥ No humiliation
♥ No degradation
♥ No feminization
♥ No verbal and physical abuse
♥ She really can just fuck you in the ass
♥ Without all that stuff
♥ Honest

(Disclaimer – if you are into any of these kinks, disregard this one)

So if those are all the things pegging is not, then what is pegging?

Yes, pegging is hot, hot sex

♥ Surprising Intensity
♥ Amazing Discovery
♥ Deeper Intimacy
♥ Fascinating Role Reversal
♥ Another Way to Make Love!

This message of reassurance has been brought to you by PeggingParadise.com and Pegging101.com

A podcast for the women which explores more of this in depth, as well as touching on relationship issues is available here.

 

beg2bepegged2

I’ve been fucking guys in the ass for some time now.

With my notoriety as Ruby Ryder, I think many people believe I get to fuck guys all the time and that I must have a ton of experience. Measurements of that kind are so subjective, though. What might be a ton to some would barely register with others. My own measure of it is that I have fucked far, far fewer than I could have, because I am particular.

I have met astonishingly handsome men who were never invited into my bed, for a variety of reasons. I have met sweet, thoughtful, intelligent men who never made it to my bed, either, lest you think it’s all about how beautiful their asses were. For me, the combination has to be just right. And of course, the chemistry has to be there, or it’s pointless.

I tell you this to point out that in actuality, I have not had that much experience pegging the sweet asses of multiple men, or even just one man. Probably less than many of you assume. Besides being particular, I have been single most of the last three and a half years.

So leaving the assumptions about fucking asses aside for a moment, let me tell you what’s been happening in my life recently. I have been working out regularly. I found the magic formula that gets me to the gym! A handsome young man (a friend) texts me every day and asks did you work out yesterday? (Doesn’t hurt that he’s in the military, too.) I don’t mind telling him ‘no’ one day, but if I have to tell him ‘no’ two days in a row, it rankles. So I have made it to the gym far more often in the last month than I have for quite some time. I have been cranking those weights up higher and enjoying the burn. I have conquered the land of the elliptical and now enjoy the heretofore-elusive second winds. I feel good.

So, after all that preface…I had an extraordinary experience the other night.

I hit my stride fucking an ass.

That’s the only way I can describe it. I had all the strength I needed. I felt agile; keeping my balance was easy. My core strength had such power and endurance that I was sort of throwing him around the bed like guys have thrown me around before. I had him in missionary position at one point holding his legs up and I impulsively put both ankles in one hand on one side of me and continued fucking him sideways. I actually did it because I was remembering positions guys have put me in, and with my newfound strength and agility, I felt like a kid in a candy store. I wanted to try it all.

Let me at this point gratefully acknowledge the lovely ass I had the pleasure of fucking. Because, as usual, I walk the line between preserving anonymity and fleshing out my story, but I do not want to talk about him like a thing. He’s so very much more than that. I’m going to call him Gorgeous Guy, because he is. He and I started talking a couple of years ago on FetLife and kept missing each other. Finally, we had a couple of dates early this year. Excellent chemistry.

So I invited him to join me last March at the BIL conference. In a lovely hotel room. With a king size bed. And he stood me up. He had his reasons, of course, but I don’t take kindly to being stood up without a word. So I answered his messages politely after that but blew off his advances.

Six months later, he finally convinced me to have dinner with him again. After all, Gorgeous Man is…gorgeous. More importantly, he’s charming, intelligent, and sweet. We had dinner. Then he convinced me that what happened was an anomaly; he’s usually very dependable and he’d like another chance, please. He had a lot of things going on in his life at that time.

We kissed. What little defenses I had left, forgotten with the sheer compatibility of that kiss. Wow. Added to all his other lovely qualities, well, yeah. I was done.

So we played. And it was Gorgeous Guy’s ass that I hit my stride whilst fucking. Couldn’t have wished for a nicer one.

I felt like that silicone cock was a part of me, I swear. I could tell the exact moment when his ass opened up and finally allowed the toy he’d selected from my collection to talk its sizable way inside him. I held steady, waiting for him to adjust to it. The muscles in my thighs and my arms worked hard to hold the position. I watched his open-mouthed closed-eyes expression; the softening…the letting go. Always a beautiful sight.

Later, I lay on top of him, deep inside, with my breasts against his back and only sweat between us. My hips moved with such ease. I put subtle moves on that cock, man. I made him moan and swoon. I was right there.

I owned that strap-on…and that ass.

We played for a long time, and slept soundly that night. Before we slept, I talked with him about how hitting my stride had felt. The best analogy I could come up with was the difference between the first time a guy fucks a girl, and then years down the line after he really starts to get good at it.

So…I feel like I finally have the amazing pegging skills that many of you have attributed to me long before now. Don’t get me wrong…I haven’t had any complaints. The night with Gorgeous Guy was different, though. I have to say that from this side of the strap-on, it was fucking amazing.

No, actually, it was amazing fucking.

 

POPDildo_StephanieBerman

Anyone who has searched for an ejaculating dildo has probably had the same experience. Sure, they are out there, but the quality basically sucks.

So – along comes Stephanie Berman – inventor of the Semenette and the POPDildo.

YES, excellent quality ejaculating dildos are now available!

YES, you can hear all about it here:

Interview with Stephanie Berman, CEO of Semenette.

 

 

mysextagram.tumblr.com

mysextagram.tumblr.com

So…

Over at PeggingParadise.com I’m planning a special podcast.

Podcast #115 is going to be comprised solely of women’s stories and offerings.
Most of my readership and listeners are men. For this podcast…

I want to hear from the women.

Tell us all the things you love about pegging…
Tell us the story of your favorite pegging encounter…
Tell us about your first time…
Tell us about your last time…
Tell us about a funny time, or an embarrassing time…
Tell us about your favorite pegging fantasy…

One sentence, a paragraph, several pages – I want it all!

Spill it, Ladies!

You can write me at ruby@peggingparadise.com
Or send me an MP3 of your recorded story
Or record your story on my call line (805) 500-6544

We are going to blow the men away with podcast #115!

Love,
Ruby