When budget constraints prevent you from buying the best equipment, consider buying a quality dildo and using this DIY harness while you save up for a good one. Buy once and buy quality!

Here is a visual aid for using two scarves to make a do-it-yourself harness – by Midori!

Here are her instructions, as well.

Midori’s Scarf Harness Visual Aid

 

Gentlemen

First of all…

You are not alone.

Certainly not alone in the sense of enjoying anal stimulation, and not alone in the sense of scared to tell your significant other. It can be a super scary thing, for a lot of reasons.

Telling your partner requires 3 things.

  • Communication
  • Information
  • Patience/Persistence

Communication:
Do you two talk in bed?? Do you talk about sex? Do you tell each other what turns you on and how things feel and what you fantasize about? If you don’t, start right now. If you are not used to it, at first it will be hard to open your mouth and get the words out. Communicating about sex opens doors and brings you much closer together, beside adding a bit of titillation factor to both of your sex lives!
Information:
Does your wife know that prostate massage has been proven to help with a healthy prostate?
Here’s the study
Does she know that the prostate is capable of giving intense levels of pleasure, just like her G-Spot?
Does she know that pegging doesn’t have to be like pegging porn?
Does she know that you enjoying anal stimulation says nothing about your sexual orientation?
I created a podcast just for the women, to address all of their fears and concerns. I recommend you listen to it first, because only you can decide whether it’s right for your partner. Many men have had great success with it!

Patience/Persistence
When you tell her about it, don’t present it all self-conscious like you have leukemia. Tell her you discovered something way cool – that you have another erogenous zone and you want nothing more to explore it with her. Be excited! Give her the information and then be patient for a few days. Ask again, no resentment, no impatience, just eagerness and curiosity whether she looked at the information or listened to the podcast. Be patient, but persistent. And above all, calm.

Of course you have fears! Among them…

  • She will think you are gay
  • She will think pegging will turn you gay
  • She won’t respect you in the morning
  • She will tell her/your friends

The podcast will help a lot with all of these.

Because here’s the thing…
Do you want to live the rest of your life never asking her? If she is down to try it, you could be enjoying pegging right now. And if she isn’t, then you at least asked. So many men wish they had not waited so long to ask their partners. Pegging is a very intimate act, so wouldn’t it be awesome to be doing it with the person you are the closest to in the whole world?

Now, if your partner is sexually inhibited, sexually conservative, sexually close-minded, and you only do it missionary position, no oral or anal, then perhaps it would not be a good idea to blow her out of the water with pegging. Only you can decide!

Good luck!
Ruby

Joyous Pegging

Just about every day, as the awareness of and interest in pegging sweeps around the world, I receive a question from someone full of concerns, questions, fears and most of all, misconceptions. The same themes present over and over again. While these themes can each be explored in depth, here are the short answers….

For Her…

No, he’s NOT GAY

♥ No, he does not want a man to replace you
♥ No, he does not secretly want a cock
♥ No, pegging him will not magically turn him gay
♥ He just wants you to fuck him in the ass
♥ Honest

((If he is bisexual, disregard this one)

No, it doesn’t hurt.

♥ Yes it feels good
♥ As long as you do it right
♥ Really good
♥ Honest

No, you will not look ridiculous wearing a strap-on

♥ He will think you look hot, I guarantee
♥ Are you kidding? He’s been fantasizing about this…
♥ So hot he might come just looking at you
♥ Honest

No, pegging is not like the pegging in porn

♥ No it is not humiliating
♥ No it is not degrading
♥ No he does not have to dress like a woman
♥ No you don’t have to yell at him and hit him
♥ He just wants you to fuck him in the ass
♥ Honest

(Disclaimer – if you are into any of these kinks, disregard this one)

For Him

No, you are NOT GAY

♥ No, wanting to be pegged does not make you gay
♥ No, being pegged will not magically turn you gay
♥ Yes, you still love breasts and pussies
♥ Which means you are not gay
♥ Even though you want her to fuck you in the ass
♥ It’s all okay
♥ Honest

(If you are bisexual – disregard this one)

No, it doesn’t hurt

♥ Yes. it feels good
♥ As long as she does it right
♥ Really good
♥ Honest

No, it will not compromise your masculinity

♥ Yes, she will respect you in the morning
♥ Yes, you can continue being a man’s man
♥ It’s all okay
♥ Honest

No, pegging is not like the pegging in porn

♥ No humiliation
♥ No degradation
♥ No feminization
♥ No verbal and physical abuse
♥ She really can just fuck you in the ass
♥ Without all that stuff
♥ Honest

(Disclaimer – if you are into any of these kinks, disregard this one)

So if those are all the things pegging is not, then what is pegging?

Yes, pegging is hot, hot sex

♥ Surprising Intensity
♥ Amazing Discovery
♥ Deeper Intimacy
♥ Fascinating Role Reversal
♥ Another Way to Make Love!

This message of reassurance has been brought to you by PeggingParadise.com and Pegging101.com

A podcast for the women which explores more of this in depth, as well as touching on relationship issues is available here.

 

beg2bepegged2

I’ve been fucking guys in the ass for some time now.

With my notoriety as Ruby Ryder, I think many people believe I get to fuck guys all the time and that I must have a ton of experience. Measurements of that kind are so subjective, though. What might be a ton to some would barely register with others. My own measure of it is that I have fucked far, far fewer than I could have, because I am particular.

I have met astonishingly handsome men who were never invited into my bed, for a variety of reasons. I have met sweet, thoughtful, intelligent men who never made it to my bed, either, lest you think it’s all about how beautiful their asses were. For me, the combination has to be just right. And of course, the chemistry has to be there, or it’s pointless.

I tell you this to point out that in actuality, I have not had that much experience pegging the sweet asses of multiple men, or even just one man. Probably less than many of you assume. Besides being particular, I have been single most of the last three and a half years.

So leaving the assumptions about fucking asses aside for a moment, let me tell you what’s been happening in my life recently. I have been working out regularly. I found the magic formula that gets me to the gym! A handsome young man (a friend) texts me every day and asks did you work out yesterday? (Doesn’t hurt that he’s in the military, too.) I don’t mind telling him ‘no’ one day, but if I have to tell him ‘no’ two days in a row, it rankles. So I have made it to the gym far more often in the last month than I have for quite some time. I have been cranking those weights up higher and enjoying the burn. I have conquered the land of the elliptical and now enjoy the heretofore-elusive second winds. I feel good.

So, after all that preface…I had an extraordinary experience the other night.

I hit my stride fucking an ass.

That’s the only way I can describe it. I had all the strength I needed. I felt agile; keeping my balance was easy. My core strength had such power and endurance that I was sort of throwing him around the bed like guys have thrown me around before. I had him in missionary position at one point holding his legs up and I impulsively put both ankles in one hand on one side of me and continued fucking him sideways. I actually did it because I was remembering positions guys have put me in, and with my newfound strength and agility, I felt like a kid in a candy store. I wanted to try it all.

Let me at this point gratefully acknowledge the lovely ass I had the pleasure of fucking. Because, as usual, I walk the line between preserving anonymity and fleshing out my story, but I do not want to talk about him like a thing. He’s so very much more than that. I’m going to call him Gorgeous Guy, because he is. He and I started talking a couple of years ago on FetLife and kept missing each other. Finally, we had a couple of dates early this year. Excellent chemistry.

So I invited him to join me last March at the BIL conference. In a lovely hotel room. With a king size bed. And he stood me up. He had his reasons, of course, but I don’t take kindly to being stood up without a word. So I answered his messages politely after that but blew off his advances.

Six months later, he finally convinced me to have dinner with him again. After all, Gorgeous Man is…gorgeous. More importantly, he’s charming, intelligent, and sweet. We had dinner. Then he convinced me that what happened was an anomaly; he’s usually very dependable and he’d like another chance, please. He had a lot of things going on in his life at that time.

We kissed. What little defenses I had left, forgotten with the sheer compatibility of that kiss. Wow. Added to all his other lovely qualities, well, yeah. I was done.

So we played. And it was Gorgeous Guy’s ass that I hit my stride whilst fucking. Couldn’t have wished for a nicer one.

I felt like that silicone cock was a part of me, I swear. I could tell the exact moment when his ass opened up and finally allowed the toy he’d selected from my collection to talk its sizable way inside him. I held steady, waiting for him to adjust to it. The muscles in my thighs and my arms worked hard to hold the position. I watched his open-mouthed closed-eyes expression; the softening…the letting go. Always a beautiful sight.

Later, I lay on top of him, deep inside, with my breasts against his back and only sweat between us. My hips moved with such ease. I put subtle moves on that cock, man. I made him moan and swoon. I was right there.

I owned that strap-on…and that ass.

We played for a long time, and slept soundly that night. Before we slept, I talked with him about how hitting my stride had felt. The best analogy I could come up with was the difference between the first time a guy fucks a girl, and then years down the line after he really starts to get good at it.

So…I feel like I finally have the amazing pegging skills that many of you have attributed to me long before now. Don’t get me wrong…I haven’t had any complaints. The night with Gorgeous Guy was different, though. I have to say that from this side of the strap-on, it was fucking amazing.

No, actually, it was amazing fucking.

 

newryder7

Podcast: For the Ladies

I have been recording podcasts for some time, but this last one might be of particular interest to you.

For a while now I’ve been working on a book, a short and read-in-one-sitting book, in my voice, that was specifically intended for men to give to their partners to introduce them to the concept of pegging. I’d pretty much finished it, but I changed my mind.

I made it a free podcast instead. I decided that I wanted it to be available to anyone that wanted/needed it instead of being something they had to pay for on Amazon (my original plan). Because, basically my goal is to facilitate as many couples understanding and enjoying pegging as possible. Especially the women!

And I think this might help.

Men could introduce the basic concept to their partners and then direct them to the podcast and say “listen to this”.

I address the common misconceptions and fears, hold space for those who decide it’s just not their thing as well as those who decide to embrace it, and through it all, emphasize over and over again that it took a ton of courage for you guys to approach them, and it is truly a gift of intimacy. Because you are allowing them to know a deeper part of you, no matter how they decide to respond. I encourage communication over and over, because good communication about sex is indeed the sexiest thing out there!

For those who are interested – could you give it a listen and let me know what you think? Feedback? Did I miss anything important? Criticisms?

Podcast is 50 minutes in length and you can stream it directly from my other website. Click the link under the photo above.

 

 

IMG_20150106_231146359

This is a common and perfectly acceptable question from newbies. I hear it all the time. The answer, however, is pretty darn complicated. There are many things to consider when buying equipment for the first time. I finally recorded a podcast that details all the considerations that need to be made when purchasing pegging equipment for the very first time. Click on the link below. Feel free to write me with any questions you have! You can contact me at Ruby@PeggingParadise.com

PeggingParadise Podcast #102 – What’s the best equipment?

 

pariscowboy92

Gentlemen, perhaps you have found your way here from links on the internet somewhere and you were intrigued. Or perhaps your lovely SO has mentioned that she’d like to explore your ass. Only one problem – you have never done ass play. Like, in your whole life. Never. Not so much as a finger. It’s okay. Just keep reading…

Ass Play – Where to start?

The best way to learn about your sexuality is to explore your own body. Masturbation is an excellent example. Since you have played with your cock enough to get it down to a fine art, you are much more knowledgeable about what turns you on and what doesn’t, which helps in communicating the finer points of your sexual preferences to your partner. So it stands to follow that the best way to begin finding pleasure in your ass is to explore it yourself, first.

If, at this juncture, you are sort of freaking out, that playing with your own ass somehow makes you gay, read this and listen to this.

Cleaning out to avoid a mess: Many men find that all they have to do is make sure their bowels are empty before playing, and there’s no problem. This works best if you have a good diet with enough roughage and you are relatively young – I’m going to guess, and say under 40. Typically, feces do not sit in the rectal canal. Rather, they stay up in your colon and periodically get released into the rectal canal, and your body gives you the message that you have to go.

If you want to rinse out in the shower to be sure you are cleaned out, you can just buy a fleet enema and empty out the contents without using it, then fill it up with water from your shower. Put small amounts of water (like 1/4 of the bottle) into your ass and expel it, repeating until the water you expel is clear. You are not trying to give yourself a complete enema – just rinse out the rectal canal. Then wash just the exterior of your anus with soap and water. Easy peasy. You are good to go.

If you want more  information about staying clean, read this

Fingernails: Make sure your nails are trimmed and rough edges are smoothed, and/or use gloves (which can help with clean up as well). The lining of the rectal canal is delicate and can tear easily. You don’t want that to happen, so you should never use anything with sharp edges for anal play, including your fingers!

Lube: Lube is an absolutely essential component to enjoying the exploration of your ass! (And please don’t let any stupid porn video make you think otherwise – spit is not lube.) You can use coconut oil, just be sure to put down a towel because it can stain. Also, take a small amount out and put it in a small bowl or on a plate because you don’t want to stick your fingers back in the jar when they have been in your ass and you suddenly realize that you need more lube.

Or, you can get what I consider to be the best anal lube out there – Sliquid Silk Hybrid lubricant. Completely body-safe, no bad ingredients, lasts a decently long time, doesn’t dry out and get sticky. Amazing stuff. Excellent company.

So now you are cleaned out, fingernails trimmed, and you have your lube. What next?

Position: The position that you find the most comfortable to explore your ass in is very individual. Explore a few and see what works best for you. You need to find a position that is comfortable for you so that you can really relax. Laying on your side with one leg drawn up, on your back with your legs up, on your hands and knees, or sitting back on your knees – those are all positions men talk about. Consider using pillows to support your body. I have even heard a man say his favorite position was…sitting on the toilet! That sounds decidedly not sexy to me, but it works for him. Above all, comfort is important. You need to be able to relax.

Turn On: Get yourself turned on in whatever way works best for you. Porn videos on your phone, fantasizing your favorite scene, reading erotica, jerking off, playing with your nipples or your balls, whatever works. The reason why this is important, is because once you start playing with your ass, it will feel better and you will have an easier time finding your prostate if you are already turned on. It swells with prostatic fluid and becomes more sensitive.

Outside First: Your mantra here is going to be go slow. So you want to start massaging your perineum, the area between your anus and your scrotum. Many men love having this region touched, as it is an indirect stimulation of the prostate. Next just massage your anus, around the rim and back and forth and whatever feels good. If you push on the anus without entering, it will encourage everything to relax.

Inside Next: When you are ready, make sure your finger is well-lubed, take a deep breath and as you breathe out, push out as if you are trying to have a bowel movement (don’t worry, if you have cleaned out, you won’t). This allows the sphincter to open and your finger should slide in fairly easily. If it starts to feel uncomfortable or you feel pain, back off and give your ass more time to open up. Don’t rush your ass! Again, go slow. Sit there for a while and just get used to the new sensation. Initially, the only thing you might feel is like you have to go to the bathroom. That will pass. But many of you will already be thrilled with new and very pleasurable sensations.

prostate massage

Locate Your Prostate: Your prostate is located about 2 inches inside, towards your belly button. Exact same location as a woman’s G-spot, if that helps. The prostate is about the size of a walnut, and is easier to find the more turned on you are. Some men will know as soon as they find it. Other men won’t be able to feel anything at all. Once you’ve found it, experiment with what feels good. Gentle pressure? Stroking? Rubbing in circles? Quick in and out? On and off pressure? Just remember not to aggressively poke the prostate. It is a gland and you don’t want to bruise it.

From here, just explore, and discover what feels good to you!

Some Cool Things to try:

Jerk Off: Most men report that an orgasm from combined prostate stimulation and penile stimulation feels about 10 times more powerful than a normal orgasm. Jerk off while playing with your ass and see what happens! As a side note – do not be concerned if you are unable to attain an erection while you are playing with your ass. This is completely normal. Some men have erections that come and go, some men stay hard the whole time and some men can’t get hard at all. All of those are completely normal.

Prostate Massage Only: Alternately, use your fingers or a toy and only massage your prostate. Some men say that they really don’t enjoy concurrent penile stimulation with prostate play, that it somehow distracts them from the amazing sensations they get from the prostate, because it’s a different type of sensation. You might be one of those guys! And some men can even orgasm from prostate stimulation alone, as well as enjoy multiple orgasms (so if you are still reading and were wondering why you should try this…there you go).

Butt Plugs: Will stimulate your prostate and can be worn during many activities. Intercourse, oral sex in either direction, foreplay. Watching a movie with your SO or out to dinner with her. Making a quick trip to the store and wanting to have a more fun experience! No one will ever guess the reason for that big smile on your face. You are limited only by your imagination. And by the toy. For longer term wear, I suggest the Njoy Pure Plugs or the Tantus Ryder Anal Plug. Both of these choices are designed so that the base sits between your ass cheeks more comfortably, and the differential between the widest point and the neck is large enough so that the plugs stay in more easily.

Prostate Toys: Some men find using their own fingers awkward. If you are not flexible enough, your arms are short, torso is long, fingers are short, prostate is further in – there can be a lot of reasons – your ass can be difficult to reach, which makes finding your prostate nigh impossible.

In that case, or if you just want to take your ass play to another level entirely, I recommend four different toys. The first two do not offer vibrations and the second two do. Vibrations are a matter of preference – some men don’t like them at all and say it makes everything sort of go numb. Other men say they can’t really get much pleasure from their prostrate until they use a vibrating toy. Experiment! Remember that anal toys must have a flared base to be safe, and make sure they are not toxic!

Aneros Helix Syn: When inserted, this device is designed to provide hands-free prostate stimulation by clenching your anal sphincter. It’s a great toy to wake up that area of your body to the pleasures that are possible. And some men find they can orgasm hands-free while using it! This is a great toy for beginners. And should the opportunity present itself, it can be worn during intercourse with explosive results!

Njoy PurewandThe curve, length and shape of this toy is absolutely perfect for prostate stimulation, solo or with a partner. Makes your prostate easier to reach, and longer ass play sessions are almost effortless because of the weight of this solid stainless steel toy. Designed by an engineer with a love of ass play, this toy gets rave reviews across the board (and is amazing for G-spot stimulation, too). The Purewand has a smaller end and a larger one, in case your ass starts craving something a little more at some point. The smooth metal will hold heat, and feels delicious warmed up by running hot water over it (not too hot!).

Lelo Loki and Loki Wave Prostate Massagers: If you like vibrations on your prostate, these are the Cadillac of prostate massagers. The curved design is perfect for reaching the prostate, and the variety of vibration patterns and intensity levels allow you to adjust this toy to your own preferences. Pretty quiet, too! Rechargeable – never worry about batteries again. The size is just big enough to be effective but not large enough to challenge. The Wave practically does all the work for you!

Aneros Vice: Another excellent toy that offers vibrations for anal play is the Vice. It’s a beautifully designed piece of equipment, the shape is made to rest right against your prostate. The removable vibrator is machined steel and packs a punch. Three vibration patterns with 3 levels of intensity. Uses one AAA battery. Just as quiet as the Lelo Loki. A of mine says this toy is so intense that he only uses it once a month and the neighbors hear him yell when he comes.

pariscowboy93

Have fun playing with your ass! Just remember….

Cardinal Rules of Ass Play

No Numbing Agents!

Not Too Fast

Not Too Big

Nothing Sharp

Plenty of Lube

Anal Safe Toys

 

 ©Ruby Ryder

 

pariscowboy92

Reassurance for the Men

Gentlemen! Are you a little concerned that you enjoy ass play? Here’s my message for you. It’s all going to be okay, really. Just click the words above and have a listen…

This comment was left on the article “Do Women Love Pegging?” This woman’s experience is not unique. I thought it needed front page exposure.

Ruby, I can’t say I enjoy this site but I am glad you give real advice, nowhere else to turn. My bf and I are having some problems with pegging. I agreed to do it once and hated it completely. I thought once I gave in and at least tried (like I’ve noticed you tell so many women to do) he would at least respect me for trying. Wrong. He talks about it constantly, even more than bjs or vaginal. I wasn’t really turned off by the anal stimulation itself, but the fact that he loved sucking on a dildo really bothered me, that’s taking it a lot further than just stimulation, that’s wanting to suck d*** which is very gay-curious.

So please Ruby as much as you want to tell women this lifestyle is healthy and normal they need to understand that once you open Pandora’s box, you can’t close it and you might not like what you find out. Finding out your bf enjoys sucking and taking something that for all purposes is a penis can be a huge turnoff, especially if it interests him more than a vagina.

Thank you very much for leaving a comment here. I’m sorry to hear that your first time of pegging did not go as well as you both hoped it would, and seemed to be very upsetting for you. Perhaps I can help.

My response is going to be pretty long, and I am going to post this on my blog as well as talk about it on my next podcast, because it’s so important for my listeners to hear. There are definitely other women out there who have had experiences just like you did; you’re not the only one.

I hope you find this information useful. Please understand that pegging isn’t for everyone, and it might not be for you. I’m not trying to talk you into it. Just trying to show you the other side of the picture a little, to hopefully help you understand his point of view.

I wasn’t really turned off by the anal stimulation itself, but the fact that he loved sucking on a dildo really bothered me, that’s taking it a lot further than just stimulation, that’s wanting to suck d*** which is very gay-curious.

So, let’s talk about your assumption that your boyfriend is “gay-curious” because he enjoyed sucking the dildo. First of all – if he is anything other than heterosexual (straight), it’s going to be bisexual – because if he’s fucking you, he is not gay. Gay is if he enjoys men only. Now…Imagine two lesbians who do strap-on sex. If one of them enjoys sucking on the dildo, does that mean she really wants a man? Of course not. I don’t know if your boyfriend is bi-curious. I assume you two have talked about it in the context of your concerns about trying pegging. If he said he’s not, I’d believe him. If you didn’t talk about it, you need to do that and to express your concerns. Pegging is an act, not an orientation. Sure, the equipment you are using resembles a penis, but go back to that lesbian example – it doesn’t necessarily mean he wants a real penis. Ask him.

Sucking the dildo could be something he did because he thought you would like it, in the context of the role reversal experienced in pegging. Let me explain. I have heard more than one man tell this exact story – that when first faced with his girlfriend/wife wearing a strap-on, it is so exciting, because usually he’s been fantasizing about it for a long time, that he doesn’t know what to do. So his first thought is, well if that was me standing there, what would I want? I’d want to have her suck on my dick! So he proceeds to do that and freaks out his partner. She thinks – what the hell? I can’t feel it and is he just pretending I am a man? ‘Cause this feels really screwed up! I get it. I’m not a fan of my partner sucking on the dildo so much. To me it seems pointless, because I can’t feel it and it does nothing for me. But if it does something for him, then it’s more fun for me.

Consider this – many of us have fantasies that are always going to remain fantasies because it’s not something we really want in real life. It could be that it turns him on to think about it but he would never in a million years want to actually do it with a guy.

Also, consider this. If he wanted to be with a man, it would be SO much easier to go have sex with a man than go to the trouble to convince you to try pegging, right? He wants to do this with you.

I agreed to do it once and hated it completely. I thought once I gave in and at least tried (like I’ve noticed you tell so many women to do) he would at least respect me for trying.

Your phrasing is painful to read. You “gave in and at least tried” but seem to have already been anticipating never doing it again and expecting him to respect you for trying and to then leave you alone about it. That’s no way to explore new sexual territory with your partner. It’s a guaranteed failure. If you are at least neutral about trying something, that can work, but it doesn’t sound like you were. And whether that was because you had fears about him being bisexual or that pegging him would fan the flames if he was, I have no way of knowing.

He talks about it constantly, even more than bjs or vaginal.

Imagine if you suddenly discovered that you could have an orgasm 10 times more powerful than anything you had ever experienced. That’s what an orgasm is like with a combination of prostate and penile stimulation. So if you discovered that intense level of pleasure, wouldn’t you want to do that…a lot? Or imagine that you discovered that if your boyfriend stimulated your G-Spot with his fingers or a toy that it could give you a total blow-your-mind, full-body orgasm. Wouldn’t you be eager to do it a LOT? And he might be sitting there going….what about my dick? What about regular intercourse?

So…when men first experience pegging, their enthusiasm for it can be an issue for some couples. And it’s not just about the level of pleasure, it’s also about experiencing sex in a completely different way that allows them to be vulnerable and to open up and receive. It does kind of blow their mind.

My advice for couples who have this issue is to schedule regular pegging, and I am not even kidding. Otherwise, every time they head to the bedroom, he’s hoping she will peg him and she’s pissed off because it feels like that’s all he ever wants. If you schedule it, he can relax and know he’ll be getting it regularly, and you can relax and not feel pressured every time you have sex. Plus, pegging requires some preparation for him, so scheduling helps that, too. Tell him that his continued interest in rocking your world sexually in all the ways he usually does is the price of admission to regular pegging land.

So please Ruby as much as you want to tell women this lifestyle is healthy and normal they need to understand that once you open Pandora’s box, you can’t close it and you might not like what you find out. Finding out your bf enjoys sucking and taking something that for all purposes is a penis can be a huge turnoff, especially if it interests him more than a vagina.

It sounds here like you are saying you now have proof positive that your boyfriend is bi-curious, because of one session of pegging where he enjoyed sucking the dildo and getting fucked by it. The dildo was attached to your body, right? Which I assume has breasts and a vagina? Unless you have talked with him about the bi-curious thing and he has said, “Yes, I am bi-curious”, you are making incorrect assumptions about your boyfriend’s orientation (remember the lesbians!). Pegging doesn’t magically turn a man bisexual and he suddenly starts craving hairy, muscular bodies. Not the way it works. If he was bi-curious to begin with, it might arouse his curiosity a little more, but straight men don’t turn bisexual because of pegging.

…Interests him more than a vagina…

I imagine that feels quite painful, and you need to tell him how it feels to you. In fact – take some time and calmly talk all this through, that would be my advice. Tell him you feel like he’s obsessed with pegging now, that that’s all he wants to talk about and he isn’t interested in your vagina anymore.  Tell him that sucking the dildo really turned you off and freaked you out and tell him why. And then talk with him about his orientation – don’t accuse him of being gay because he sucked a penis-shaped object and had it up his ass. Lesbians fuck each other’s vaginas with penis-shaped objects, too – are they straight? Talk with him about it calmly and ask him if there is any part of him that is bi-curious. That’s the only way you are going to get open communication is to…communicate openly. Otherwise, you can assume anything you want and agonize over it as much as you want, too. And it could all be for nothing.

If he is bi-curious, then you need to figure out what that means for your relationship and go forward from there. But at least you won’t be sitting there accusing him of being bisexual because of something that happened with a sex toy when you two were in bed!

Good luck to you both. And if you feel so inclined – we’d all love to hear what happens.

Ruby Ryder

In the time that I have been enthusiastically exploring and learning about pegging, I’ve learned so much about what it feels like for a man to have a woman slip a dildo inside him and fuck his sweet ass. I did learn from practice, often the best way to learn. But I also participated in many forums online where men waxed poetic about getting pegged….sharing information about how it feels, what positions are best for the most pleasure, what kinds of orgasms they have experienced and the particular sensations associated with each. In all of my explorations, conversations and discussions, the same theme kept coming back over and over. Pleasure, pleasure and more pleasure.

So let me formally and unequivocally answer the question posed by the title of this article…

Yes, Yes and Yes. Oh….and Yes.

And…OH!! YES!!

Okay…there will of course be the occasional man who does not get a thrill out of pegging…because people are delightfully diverse. Bodies are different, emotional makeups differ and sexual openness will vary. There will also be the occasional man who hates even a finger in his ass because it hurts, or even if it doesn’t hurt ass play is just not his thing. They are out there. But for the overwhelming majority of men…it feels incredible. Really incredible.

Reassuring the Women

If you are a woman reading this and you have doubts about pegging your husband/boyfriend/significant other because you can’t see how he could possibly enjoy it…please, do read on. I have become a firm believer that the only way to be good at giving anal sex is to receive it. Many women have been on the receiving end of bad anal sex. You know the kind. The well-meaning inexperienced guy shoves his spit-on cock up your ass because he doesn’t have a clue that you can’t treat an ass like a vagina (that’s what they do in the porn movies, right?)….and it fucking hurts like hell…so you never, ever want to have anal sex again…ever. I know this happens more than people realize. So maybe years go by…and now a guy is asking you to fuck him in the ass? I see how you could be confused. Here’s the secret:

Anal sex done correctly does not hurt.

Without going into the specifics of how to peg your guy (that is elsewhere on this website), what I want to make sure that you realize is that not only will it not hurt your man if you do it right, there is a very good chance he will be over the moon, singing, swooning and having orgasms more intense than anything he’s ever experienced! So if you have found your way to my website because your guy is asking you to peg him…chances are he may have already found out on his own that anal stimulation feels amazing or he’s heard that it is and would love to explore with you. Awesome – one more way to experience intimate pleasure as a couple. Keep reading.

Why does Pegging feel so good to men?

Two words. Prostate gland. Direct stimulation of a man’s prostate gland can feel as good as a woman’s G-spot feels when stimulated. Really. So yes…it can absolutely bring a man thrilling, orgasmic sensations as well as actual orgasms with stimulation of his cock and sometimes even…without touching his cock at all.

Reassuring the Men

If you have found your way to this website you may be one of the incredibly lucky men whose woman has actually approached you with the idea of pegging. And yes, you are quite fortunate. Or perhaps you have heard or read about the potential pleasure involved and just wanted to learn more. No matter how you got here, if you are at all questioning whether strap-on sex can be enjoyable, rest assured that it can indeed bring you exquisite pleasure and is well worth exploring with your partner. You have the potential to delight in orgasms ten times more powerful than anything you have ever experienced , orgasms that produce prodigious amounts of come. Some men can orgasm without touching their cock, and those “hands-free” orgasms can not only be the most exquisite of all, some men attain multiple orgasms that way as well. How could you possibly read all that and not at least give it a try?!

Yes, Pegging feels…incredible. And here’s a Newsflash:

Women can orgasm from pegging, too.

 

What the Men Say About Pegging Orgasms

“The best way I know to describe it is very close to a female orgasm. They start in my tummy/pelvis and radiate through my body in wave after wave of pleasure. No, I do not experience any kind of ejaculation either. Many times I am left lying there limp as a rag doll.”

“I haven’t had many experiences but every time a woman has used her strap-on and taken my ass…I’ll get super hard and cum very hard too.”

“I have very strong to the point of shaking orgasms and just a gusher of cum, hit the ceiling strong.”

“I absolutely can orgasm, in a very non-male way.. no ejaculate… As described by a few others, it’s sort of a mind/brain short circuiting body sensory meltdown.. I shake and quiver uncontrollably, breath very short and rapidly, and become incredibly sensitive to sounds and touch… This can go for several minutes (in one case), but usually only lasts 30-60 seconds… When it’s done I feel like I’ve run a marathon.. Exhausted and quivering… It leaves my mind cleared out like shaking an etch-a-sketch… Sign me up anytime for more :)”

Ya know, I’m very skeptical… So much BS spread around… I decided to try this and prove you all wrong… I fired up my fucking machine with a moderate dildo, and ran it for 25 minutes… Nothing… Then I recalled a few prostate orgasm videos which showed what everybody is talking about.. Watching the technique and pressure they used, I decided to try a firmer, plastic g spot vibrator…after a few minutes, the feeling grew intense, and all my muscles involuntarily tense and I let out this deep throated groan losing all control.. The muscles released, and I was panting for my breath.. A few minutes later .. The same… 4 times in 20 minutes… I can only conclude they were anal orgasms… No ejaculate.. Just extreme contractions…I can’t wait to do it again… It truly happens… Amazing experience…I’m a believer!

Kudos to those of you who allowed me to use your comments here. Thanks for sharing descriptions of your orgasmic pegging experience with us and here’s hoping it convinces a few of the curious to give it a try.

Note: Pain is an indicator. If you experience pain with anal stimulation despite slow exploration with small fingers/toys and plenty of lube, get checked by your doctor just to make sure you do not have a medical condition that needs attention.