Anyone who is the slightest bit interested in pegging, interested enough to search the internet a bit for more information has seen them.

Pegging personal ads, all placed by men.

From the restrained:

Anyone in Atlanta area interested in an “virgin” guy? 42 Caucasian, attractive, good shape, clean. Teach me!

To the simple:

I would like me a woman/women with strap on play.

To the crude:

Any women in the San Diego area want a hole to fuck?

To the playful:

Yay! strap-ons. =)
I like em big, girls, got one? You can borrow mine.

 

Just about any forum that talks about pegging soon gets overrun with pegging personals unless there is a moderator who has a rule against them and runs a tight ship. It is annoying. It is frustrating. But here’s what makes it even more frustrating, for all parties involved…

It is a complete waste of time.

I don’t care much for absolutes. So I’m sure, somewhere, there are a couple of men who have actually gotten pegged from placing a pegging ad. What is the percentage? I’d guess 99.9% of all pegging personals never see any action from their ad. At all. Yet men continue to place them, anywhere and everywhere they can. Just in case, maybe.

Let’s look at the reasons why pegging ads do not work…

Here is one. Pegging is sex. Let me repeat that: Pegging is sex. So…basically these ads are saying, I really want to have sex, and I’m totally ready, so any interested women out there, hit me up! Um…yeah, right. Not gonna happen.

Here’s another reason pegging ads don’t work. Pegging is not very widely accepted by women who don’t know anything about it. They have to get past so many potential fears! The fear that he’s gay, the whole anal thing, the fear of pegging affecting their femininity, the fear of pegging affecting his masculinity, the fear that it will hurt him, the fear of not being good at it, the fear that he will get addicted to it. etc. So pegging ads do nothing to educate women about these misconceptions. Pegging ads usually just say, “Wanna fuck me?” Again, not gonna happen.

And another reason. The odds are way against you. You are drawing from a very small pool. The number of women who know about pegging, think it rocks, love doing it to guys and have their own equipment…is really quite small. We are out there, here and there. Included are women who no longer are with the partner who introduced them to it but still really want to incorporate pegging into their next relationship. Still – even combining those groups – not very many women. This group of not very many women…yeah, well, we get a tad besieged by the throngs of men who want their ass fucked. We usually get approached (via private messages or crude comments in a thread) in a way that is all about the strap-on and not at all about us as people, which goes over like a burnt piece of toast.

And one more reason. Pegging is intimate. I know professional dominatrices who will not do pegging because it is too intimate! Take the normal intimacy level of regular PIV (penis in vagina) sex. Multiply it a couple times, at least. Why? You’ve got role reversal going on, which places both partners in situations they have never been in before. That’s a vulnerable position to be in and requires trust. A lot of it. So the likelihood that an ad asking for a woman who wants to fuck a guy’s ass is going to work? Again…not gonna happen.

So…what’s the harm in putting up an ad? I’ll tell you. By asking for it all over the place – you guys could possibly be further ensuring you will not get it. Unintended consequences.

Here’s why: If a man approaches me with a polite, forthcoming, articulate message that does not go on and on about how much he wants me to fuck him with my strap-on, I check him out and look at his comments in other areas on the website that we are both on. If I find that he has a habit of leaving pegging ads all over the place in groups, or messages on women’s walls or photos (who are interested in strap-on play) like, “I’d really like you to fuck me. I’m bent over and ready”¬† I cross him off my list right then and there. Because the strap-on is obviously the focus, not the woman. I have no interest in that kind of connection. Are there women who might be interested? Not so much. In my travels I have encountered a couple of non-pros who would be interested in a strap-on experience and not a relationship. One asks for donations…and the other wants to film you. Not that these are bad – just…for profit.

I’ve said it before and I will keep saying it. If you are just looking to experiment with pegging and you do not want a relationship, go find a pro. If you are looking for a relationship with a woman who enjoys pegging, you can look for that interest on the woman’s profile and send her a polite, forthcoming and articulate letter of introduction (without mentioning the pegging!). Or, you can look for a relationship with a sexually open-minded woman in the way you normally would, and attempt to introduce her to pegging later. Here’s one man’s story about how he did it.

I am not without sympathy for you men. It is a big step to decide that you want to be pegged. And if you have indulged in any anal play, you know how good it can feel. And you want it. Passionately. But I urge you…knock off the personal ads!! Try methods that have a greater success rate…please!

 Ruby Ryder